When It Comes To Sex, What Is Informed Consent?

Have you ever had an experience with someone that left you feeling violated, but you couldn’t quite articulate why? Sometimes when people betray your boundaries, it isn’t just about whether you said “yes” or “no.” It’s about whether you made an informed decision about engaging.

What is informed consent?

When it comes to sex, a person can only truly agree to engaging if they know every bit of information that is relevant to the experience. That includes STD status, marital status, whether they have other sexual partners, and what their expectations are for the sexual relationship (are you dating or just having casual sex?).

Lying or failing to disclose any information that may be important your sexual partner to know before having sexual contact is a violation of informed consent.

How people violate informed consent:

• not disclosing STD status

• not disclosing relationship or marital status

• pretending to want a relationship when they really want sex

• removing condom without your knowledge (“stealthing”)

Remember: you can only consent to something if you have all of the information you need. Ask questions. And, if the answers you get don’t align with your values, it’s okay to change your mind in the moment.